Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
