Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
