Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
