I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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