Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
