community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
