I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
