That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
