I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
