Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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