dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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