i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
