I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
