Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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