but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
