not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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