I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
