HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
