The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
