Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
