Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
