those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
