I wannas sexs uuuuu
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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