i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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