were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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