I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
