I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
