Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
