i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
