I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
