didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
