There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ugly people sure do ruin things
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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