Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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