No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
