I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
