I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
