Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
