i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
