Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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