I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Houston, we have a blender
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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