Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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