I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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