You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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