In the future we'll all be gay
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
