Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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