i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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