I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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