end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
if only i could text you this smell
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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