Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
