there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
