Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
