He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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