see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
