puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
